Hands of a Child, Chest of a Lady

Good morning and welcome to Music Monday, a new column on this here blog wherein I post an original song every Monday. So, like, once a month.

Oh, for all those new readers (a family member who just learned to read maybe?), by "write and sing", I mean "get an annoying stream of words in my head and then grab my child-sized acoustic guitar and play the one chord I know over and over".

I've written multiple "songs" about my sister and her stupid, beautiful red hair that always gets her a ton of attention; about Gen and that time she ate cat food; I've even written a thoughtful song for my mom when I was too poor to buy her a Mother's Day gift!

But I failed to break into autobiographical territory until this "song", about the unfortunate disproportionation (is that a word?) of my body.

So for all of you out there with T-Rex arms and lady boobs, this song goes out to you.

Sorry, Dad.

Note: I don't write down lyrics or even try to do a second take. That's why all my songs end abruptly and don't have any structure. Sorry, all real musicians, THIS IS A JOKE! Also, can I join fun.? 

Note, continued: I'm only writing this note because my one piece of blogger hate mail came from someone telling me I didn't know how to sing or play guitar. Uh, duh! Also send me more hate mail, that totally made me feel cool.