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11/8/11

Things I Said While Watching Beauty and the Beast

  1. This was totally my favorite movie as a child. I am sure Walt Disney wasn't a misogynist!
  2. Aw, look. Misogyny.
  3. Gaston: not bad. I'd hit that.
  4. Maurice definitely had Alzheimer's, right? Aw.
  5. Do NOT go in the wood, dumbass!
  6. Belle had a one hell of a case of Stockholm Syndrome.
  7. Wait! The Beast is only supposed to be 21 years old!?
  8. THAT is four years younger than me...
  9. AND MUCH TOO YOUNG TO MARRY!
  10. Man, Belle’s hair is better than mine. Them some chestnut locks!
  11. Aw, Chip. I totally had a crush on Chip, A CARTOON TEACUP, as a child...
  12. Which explains my current crush on our blender, Bob.
  13. Oh God. It’s midnight on a Saturday. The wine store is closed!
  14. So Belle just falls in love with him even though he kept her captive. Yeah, that's some Patty Hearst shit right there.
  15. This is not as romantic as I once thought--
  16. OMG, I LOVE THIS SONG!
  17. This is the most beautiful movie ever.
  18. You know, aside from the Beast’s mullet, and misogyny, and that really scary tower scene...
  19. Oh God. I'm going to die alone.
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    8 comments:

    1. Amanda K.November 10, 2011 at 2:21 PM

      You are fucking hilarious. Please keep these up.

      ReplyDelete
    2. AndoraNovember 10, 2011 at 3:43 PM

      Love it, girl.

      ReplyDelete
    3. TarynNovember 10, 2011 at 3:58 PM

      Too funny and too true. Why did she stay with him?? Guess we will never know.

      ReplyDelete
    4. AnonymousNovember 10, 2011 at 7:34 PM

      LOVE this addition. Love the Patty Hearst wikipedia link. Hahaha. You've Got Mail soon?

      ReplyDelete
    5. KPBNovember 10, 2011 at 9:37 PM

      You know it! YGM is going to be my best yet.

      But what if I know it TOO well??

      ReplyDelete
    6. AnonymousNovember 10, 2011 at 11:22 PM

      I think I liked your comments from the Bieber movie better... but still funny stuff Kels.

      ReplyDelete
    7. KPBNovember 11, 2011 at 12:09 AM

      Nothing can beat Bieber! Thanks for the backhanded compliment, Kate. Ha!

      ReplyDelete
    8. MaggieNovember 12, 2011 at 1:17 AM

      Things I thought and said during LIKE CRAZY:
      1. Felicity Jones is so adorable.
      2. I want her hair.
      3. That's it. I'm getting a perm. For real.
      4. I want to have a daughter and name her Felicity.
      5. OMG buttered popcorn and Junior Mints. Kelly is a genius.
      6. I hope I don't tip this bucket of popcorn onto Kelly's lap.
      7. Oops, there go the Junior Mints.
      8. Phew! Save!
      9. I. Am. Pigging. Out. I hope Kelly doesn't notice I'm a disgusting, butter-slathered pig.
      10. DON'T OVERSTAY YOUR VISA! NOOOOO!!!!!! TEN YEAR BAN! TEN YEAR BAN!
      11. I've never been to Catalina.
      12. Watching a love scene with someone you've just met is awkward.
      13. Oooh! I want that headboard!
      14. I can't stop eating popcorn and Junior Mints.
      15. OMG. ALEX KINGSTON!!!
      16. I know they're fictional, but I want Anna's parents to adopt me. Whiskey. Balderdash. Alex Kingston. Need I say more?
      17. Holy shit, Kelly looks JUST like Jennifer Lawrence!
      18. Hello, Simon!!!
      19. DON'T SNOOP JACOB'S PHONE, DON'T SNOOP HIS PHONE, DON'T DO IT!!!!
      20. Jacob, just move to London you dumb shit.
      21. I want to move to London.
      22. Oooh, this movie is hitting way too close to home.
      23. Love just isn't enough.
      24. I'm going to die alone.

      ReplyDelete