yesterday

Last week my doctor convinced herself

that I had melanoma.

So she cut some tissue out of my skin

and stitched me up in a few places, panic flashing across her face.

(I was worried. Do I get to admit that?)

(Am I safe in parentheses?) 

I waited two days for test results.

And on Friday, she called.

Caught early, pre-stage 1.

I’ll see a surgeon for more tissue excision

after I get home from Colorado in a few weeks.

It’s overwhelming, this carousel

of panicky doctors, always saying

There is something wrong with everything!

At night, I try not to wonder what it will be next.

There was no sun yesterday, so I was allowed out of my cave.

I don’t need much these days.

I don’t have much these days.

 And yesterday it was fine—

Just a crappy waterproof camera, a blistering hangover, my sister

and this dangerous, unruly sea,

Nature’s brutal reminder that there is no use in fretting

about what we cannot control.

(I needed that.)