the free pass

the free pass is my youth, slowly floating away.

i can cling to it. i can be drunk and foolish. 

i can tweet and blog about the dumb things i do,

the trips i take,

the people i let in for a second or two 

and then quickly discard.

i am young! 

i can feel things but face them later.

i can see it, drink, and forget.

or i can be present.

and feel those things now.

and not ignore it.

and do what i should.

face reality.

become a better version of myself.

the person i can be.

the person i always have been,

even as i've hid it, 

and drank it away,

and melted those feelings into one big lump.

the lump that's hard to swallow.

i can look in the mirror and see everything,

and deal.

i can do that.

i have.

i will.