It's Either Sadness or Insomnia

guyyyys.

i don't sleep.

ever.

okay. fine. sometimes i do. but usually--

this is how things go:

i work. i come home. i eat chips and guac for dinner. i stifle yawns while sitting through a viewing of the real housewives of a new york city i don't live in. i say "i'm tired. i'm going to bed." i take off most of my clothes and get into bed. (IT IS HOT OUTSIDE.) i watch a scarring episode of six feet under and then i soothe my disturbed mind with a friends episode. i get halfway through a chandler joke before i hit the space bar, close my computer and try to fall asleep.

then i toss. oh, how i toss. i toss and i turn and i get cold and hot from the air conditioning. my mouth hurts. breathing hurts.

i say fuck it. i watch another episode of friends.

i fall asleep! yes. a dreamless, dull sleep.

three hours later, i wake up to use the bathroom. i curse my small bladder and my insane water consumption.

(side note: why am i always thirsty? if i remember correctly, this is how stacy from the BSC got diabetes! DIABEETUSSS!)

i stare into the bathroom mirror. i grimace or practice faces for an upcoming facebook profile pic change.

i get back into bed. my toes scratch my legs. i rub my eyes. i don't get anything done.

i stay awake for five more hours. i think about weird things. like if jurassic park could really happen, and tetris, and what would happen if you smoked a joint dipped in embalming fluid (thanks, six feet under. THANKS A LOT.) sometimes i think about death or hang gliding. it all depends on the night.

usually i refresh people.com and twitter until my eyelids burn from the screen.

i fall asleep at 6 am. 

my alarm rings at 8. i hit snooze. a long time later, i wake up for work. it feels like swimming to the surface, only with weights tied to my ankles and bags underneath my eyes.

i go to work. i am a zombie until i chug coffee and yell at taylor to bring me water.

i'm tired.

i need sleep.

help.