in preparation for this grand event, i have prepared a list of likely scenarios.
1) i get really drunk and end up on stage with ani difranco. i steal the mike and sing "i believe the children are my future." bruce springsteen hears my angelic voice, scouts me out and makes me his new backup singer. (later, patti.)
2) i lose a finger trying to hammer in our tent.
3) gen gets lost and ends up in graceland.
4) in a crowd of thousands, i somehow find the long lost twin i didn't know existed. after pitching our story to industry types, we move to california to star in a white girl version of sister, sister.
5) i meet my soulmate, but then sober up and realize he is ugly.
6) i meet elvis costello and force him to father twins with me.
7) jimmy fallon discovers me, realizes he sucks, and picks me to be his replacement. his few fans weep.
8) we never make it to tennessee.
9) we make it to virginia and decide hey, that's good enough.
10) i drown in a mud pile due to my being shorter than the ditch in which the mud has accumulated.
if i don't make it back, i love you all very, very much. please transfer my debt to kristie.
kisses,
kb
Several of these are highly possible. More specifically, us not actually making it to Tennessee..
ReplyDeleteAnd who are you kidding with getting injured setting up the tent? You're obviously going to be sitting in the truck with the AC* on high singing that one line from "My Girls" at the top of your lungs.
*- double meaning: Air Conditioning and Animal Collective
hahaha kel these are great/ highly possible. I can't wait to see you on the late show/I can not see you actually pitching a tent....I would also add that brenna gets lost somewhere in the crowd for a few days...love you girls, have a blast and be careful!!
ReplyDeleteps ..yeaaa my girls, I love that song!!
3,8, and 9 will happen
ReplyDeleteand you did not spell mic correctly its mic. on mike..seeing as mic is an abbreviation for microphone..
but other then that it was funny..good job..love always your little bro
Here's a list I've compiled to respond to this nonsense:
ReplyDelete1. transfer the debt to the sister you ditch for some long lost twin in scenario #4? yea, right.
2. the only one who i don't see getting lost is meghan.
3. what makes bonnaroo any different than all of the other times you supposedly meet your soulmate? numbers don't lie kel, but whatever you consume in the next few days will.
4. remember when we tried to pitch that four person tent at cheesequake? i'm assuming that after 10 minutes, you'll abandon the project just like you did last august. you won't have time to get injured.
in case you forgot what that looked like:
http://twitpic.com/6y9my
5. meghan will be the force that gets you guys to bonnaroo, convincing you all that south jersey isn't tennessee and that a random battle of the bands isn't bonnaroo.
6. yes, jimmy fallon sucks. you should replace him. the day you finally start making money is one day closer to you paying me back for all of that cotton candy, panara, wegmans, and whatever else you've made me buy for you in the past 21 years.
7. you know how i bought you souvenirs from sydney and ecuador? please return the favor and bring me back something from at least one state you pass through!
love you kel. please be careful. rufies are probably going to be widespread at this thing- check your drinks!!!
BE CAREFUL!
not that you would EVER smoke weed but i'd be more wary of laced weed that rufied drinks. either way... should be interesting!
ReplyDeletealso, what is your obsession with twins?
also i meant laced joints not laced weed that sounds weird.
ReplyDeleteI hope number acuall happens, i've always wanted a famous friend to live off of!! Also kristies response is why I love her, she recognizes me for the responsibl, voice of reason in our group. Thanks Kristie!
ReplyDeletebrilliant!
ReplyDeleteOk, those are some higly probable scenarios. BUT we know for sure that the following DEFINITELY WILL happen at least once, and if they don't I will drive the whole way back!
ReplyDelete1. kelly will puke
2. gen will cry
3. brenna will hook up
4. meghan will freak out about her dad's truck.
I vote for # 9
ReplyDeleteI ran across your blog via www.mattlogelin.com. I live in Manchester, TN and have never missed a BONNAROO! Just wanted to write and say that I hope THE BOSS does not hear both of our angelic voices because I will fight ya for the back up postion!!!!
ReplyDeleteHave a great time! ROOOO WHOOOOO!!!!
From Amy in Tennessee!